The long road to redemption takes another twist for Josh Cartwright when the jockey who gained worldwide notoriety earlier this year saddles up his first runners as a trainer on Sunday.
South Australian Cartwright made international headlines when the troubled young hoop deliberately rode his mount into the path of other horses at Morphettville in January.
He dangerously rode Senior Council into two other horses – Go The Journey and House Of Wax – in a race which was won by his girlfriend jockey, Anna Jordsjo.
Cartwright was outed for 18 months as a rider and banned for six months as a trainer but is now attempting to pick up the pieces of his life.
The 23-year-old will saddle up Tuscan Marie and To Be Vain at Penola on Sunday as his first runners of a boutique Adelaide Hills stable where he will train primarily for family and friends.
The previously confident young horseman admits he will probably be struck by nerves and anxiety on Sunday when he officially re-joins the racing industry.
"I've done a lot of horse breaking so I've normally been a pretty confident bloke and I've always been pretty fearless," Cartwright told Racenet.
"But it's different these days when I walk into a room filled with 100 horseracing people and they all look at you in different ways.
"I'm a different person to what I used to be but hopefully some of that anxiety goes away.
"I wouldn't say this is a fresh start for me, I wouldn't go as far as saying that.
"It's been a big grind this year with some of the mental battles I've had and also to try to keep my head above water with 12 horses in work.
"There have been a lot of long days slogging my guts out on my farm by myself.
"But there's been some fantastic people who have supported me and I can't thank them enough."
Looking back on that fateful day in January, Cartwright is overcome with regret.
He made plenty of bad choices in that period but says his worst was simply turning up to ride at the races that day.
"I replay that whole day in my mind and think of all the things I could have handled better … the number one thing I think is that with the head space I was in, I shouldn't have even been at the races," he said.
"People have subsequently asked me how I got to the races that day, given the state I was in, and I don't have an answer for them.
"The really sad thing about this is that if you ask anyone what I was like before this, no-one would have had a bad thing to say about me.
"To do what I did really ruined things, and that hurts me a lot."
So can Cartwright, who says he has no plans to ever return to race riding, come back as a winner in his new life as a trainer?
He reckons three-year-old first-starter To Be Vain can get the chocolates in the 1100m maiden plate at Penola on Sunday.
"I think he's a pretty good horse and he should be winning this," Cartwright said.
Watch the race which changed Josh Cartwright's life here
